“Any chance in hell you could rescue me from a bad decision, I chewed my arm off but left my car downtown, ordeal?” When a girlfriend calls for help, I’m there. No questions asked. Except for this one: What kind of choad doesn’t give a girl a ride back to her car the next morning?”

Now, see, that’s just bad manners.

It’s in the rule book boys and girls. Section 3 of the hook up code—if someone comes home with you, you’re obligated to help them leave afterward if they need assistance. That means you give them a lift home or back to their car, or at least give them fare and call them a cab. You’re not required to feed them or give them your number or help them rinse the vomit off their shirt, but helping them get out of your home is mandatory. And it’s not something you can pass off as a rookie mistake either. Only the lowest of the turbochoads doesn’t help a gal make her exit after an evening of festivities. Besides, if word gets around that you’re the kind of dickhead that can’t be gracious after getting lucky, you risk taking a ride on the train to no-nookie-land. Chicks talk, trust me.