A Command From Miss Debater: STOP DATING CHOADS!

There’s a long and drawn out version of the story, but the Cliff’s Notes go something like this:

Her: You’re not giving me what I need, so I can’t be with you.
Him: You’re right. I don’t have it to give.

(2 days later)

Him: I made a HUGE mistake. I miss you. I need you. You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Please take me back. I’ve learned my lesson!

(the next morning…)

Him: What are you doing here this morning? I said what to you last night? I don’t remember any of that. I was drunk. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t mean it. Still, the sober and adult side of me is telling me I can’t do this. I can’t be with you.

I’ve edited out the emotional bullshit this guy spewed at her over the course of 2 months for the sake of not making my readers vomit all over their computer screens, but trust me on this one, this dude is in the running for Choad of the Year after the nonsense he spouted off to my friend.

Why bother writing about it? Because I’m sick and tired of watching girls get preyed upon by choads. I’m a firm believer that most guys are good guys. Sure, we all have our choady moments (usually after a bad day, or one too many cocktails) but on the whole, I’m a big fan of men. They usually mean well, and unlike their female counterparts, they say what they mean, don’t hold grudges, and are willing to buy me my first drink. But for every 10 nice guys out there, there’s a choad fucking it up for the rest of them. Ladies, pay attention:

Stop mistaking arrogance for confidence. Real men don’t need to flaunt. Remember, Superman didn’t tell people he was Superman.

If he doesn’t do what he says he’s going to do, WALK. It’s that simple. If he doesn’t call when he says he will, show up when he says he will, or deliver what he promises, being around you isn’t going to change that. It’s his choice to be lazy.

Beware the tortured soul. Being an artist doesn’t give you an excuse to behave like an asshole. You can be creative and emotional and still treat a woman with respect. Don’t let a guy get away with being a jackass merely because he can write you a poem.

Make sure the man has something to contribute. His being quiet and detached may not indicate mystery, it may just be that the lights are on and nobody’s home.

These are just a few suggestions that seemed especially relevant given my good friend’s most recent experience. Seriously ladies, know why the nice guys always finish last? It’s because so many women would rather spend their time sporting with the bastards. If you’d like to not waste time wondering what he’s doing, what he’s thinking, where he’s been, or how he feels about you, stop dating choads. It really is that easy.