I’m Miss Debater, your web mistress and commentator on choadism. I’m hijacking this little corner of the Internet because it’s about time someone spoke the truth about a phenomenon we all know of and wish we could ignore. I’m talking about CHOADS.

It’s the frat boy with the attitude. It’s the 45-year-old lecher hitting on sorority pledges. It’s the pompous ass with the spiky hair, fake tan, and whitened smile who believes deep down in the depths of his empty soul that he is, without question, the coolest thing to ever cruise a bar. Choads come in many varieties but no matter what their purpose or motivation, their style or status, what they all have in common is an ego so enormous it needs its own zip code. The defining quality of a choad is arrogance folks, boundless and unapologetic arrogance.

The dictionary defines the word choad as being synonymous with “penis,” or more specifically, a penis that is wider than it is long. It’s also rumored that the word itself comes from the Hindi word chodna, the Indian vernacular equivalent to the word “fuck.” If you ask me, there’s no better word in the English language to categorize these living underwear stains. The word itself sounds fat and bloated, kinda like the sense of self-importance these assclowns tend to have.

Who do they think they are? What causes such amazing delusions of grandeur? Why does a pretentious punk with no redeemable qualities think he’s God’s gift if he sports a nice watch and a pound of hair gel? These are just a few of the questions this humble little web log will be grappling with. The rest of the time, I’ll just be making fun of them.

The truth is I’m merely a fan and connoisseur of human folly. First off, I’m a female. And since I’m under 120 lbs. and my face isn’t stricken with some kind of fungus, I get lots of attention from men. And while not all men are choads, a very large percentage of the ones hitting on women when they’re out with friends are. Second, I spent 10 years working behind the bar, where some of the choadiest behavior in the country takes place. If you ever want some real entertainment, ask a bartender about the best pick up lines she’s ever gotten. Finally, I’m just flat out tired of these little shitheads getting away with their idiocy. Friends are required to call one another on their bullshit. Someone needs to be doing the same for the social morons who force themselves on others.

So here I am, denouncer of all things choady. This is my territory, and I welcome you all to make it your personal space for calling out the choads of the world.