It’s an inevitable part of the guy design. But how much choadiness makes you a CHOAD? There are subtle signs. There are blatant symptoms. Recognize any?

• You speak about yourself in the third person.
• You wear gold jewelry. Lots of it.
• You’ve ever used a pick up line to seduce a woman and thought yourself clever.
• You have a “tag line.”
• You’ve ever been slapped in public by a female you didn’t know.
• You’ve ever uttered the phrase “I’m not conceited, I just have a lot of confidence.”
• Your hair product leaves stains on your collar.
• You’ve never slept with the same girl more than once (then again, you might just suck in bed.)

• Your shirts are shiny.
• Your car payment is more than your rent.
• You think Red Bull is an acceptable mixer for expensive vodka.
• Your Myspace pictures include hot chicks posing with you that you may or may not know.
• You have tribal tattoos (and you’re not Native American.)
• You have Asian character tattoos (and you’re not Asian.)
• You’ve ever had a nickname that ended in “-a-nator” or “ster”.
• You pop your collar.
• You talk so loudly, people three rooms over answer your questions for you.
• You tan regularly, but it ain’t from the sun.
• You call your female friends “my bitches” and they don’t seem to mind.
• You know 5 really misogynistic jokes off the top of your head.
• You thought “Road House” starring Patrick Swayze was brilliant filmmaking.
• You think tipping is just a city in China.
• You think jokes about cock size are perfectly acceptable ways of opening conversation.
• Your girlfriend takes less time getting ready to go out than you.
• Door guys shake their head and sigh when you walk up.
• None of your t-shirts have sleeves.
• Adjusting your balls in public is an involuntary reaction.
• You looked at this list and thought “whatever, they don’t know what they’re talking about. I’m the shit.”